Day 87

Frustration. It happens a lot in this field, for one reason or another. And I find that I have been feeling this way for a good while now. Not just for one specific reason, but for a lot of little reasons that are piling up and making me want to pull my ears off. Acting, and the theatre world in general, is a frustrating thing. It's such a detailed and extensive process to go through. The amount of time that goes into everything would astound even the more well-rounded of men. We rehearse, we build the set, we memorize lines, we work on physicality, we help with lights, we sew the costumes, we pull props, we go through technicals and dress rehearsals and sneak peaks and finally a week worth of performances for an audience. The process of putting a show together is long and tedious. Sometimes it works out for the best, and sometimes it's a miserable failure.

Right now, I feel like I need to take a break from it all. Nothing immensely long, but just some time to myself where I don't have to think about it. I'm worried I'm getting strung out on it. And these past few weeks haven't helped a lot either. This Summer Rep has been wearing down on me. The people have been great, but the show (singular) has been tearing me apart. I'm downright frustrated with it. I feel like it's the same song, different verse as last year, but the part isn't worth all this frustration. It's hard having no help and trying to make a one-dimensional character into something worthwhile. Experiences like this make me want to just quit. But I won't. I never will, as much as I say that I want to. But it's still frustrating.