Day 90

So, quite a bit has happened since my last update. Time to catch up!

Well, the show that I was so excited about "Boeing Boeing" had to be shut down. Officially, there was going to be a broadway-esq touring cast, so they wouldn't give us the rights to perform it. Unofficially, there were a lot of issues already. Since it's summer, it's hard to get people to commit and work around schedules since summer is our only free time to do anything. And we kept having to replace people and try and find people with about only 1/3 of the usual available people here. And there were more little things adding up to fight us, so it seemed like the theatre gods didn't want this show to go on. Which makes me sad because it was such a great experience, even with the little time we had to work together. The script was great and I really enjoyed the director and fellow actors. The director said he might try and produce it next summer, which I would love to do, but I'm not sure what my plans are yet.

So, I haven't been doing and theatre-y things all summer. It's been odd, especially compared to last summer where I just didn't stop lol. I've enjoyed the break. I've been watching a lot of movies lately, and it's nice to be able to just sit there and watch without some other motive. And while I would much rather be in rehearsals, getting to rest is sometimes nice too. Now I have the next few weeks, which will decide my Fall semester, at least to a certain extent. Tonight I have auditions for "The Foreigner" at the community theatre. I worked out the scheduling, and if I happen to get cast in the first two shows at Tech (which ain't gonna happen) I can do both, with some minor conflicts. Tech fall auditions are coming up at the end of the month, and I have a lot of mixed emotions. For one I am petrified, because going a whole year without getting cast kinda puts you on edge for some reason...who would have thought it, right? Secondly, I guess you can describe it as having the opposite effect of a huge ego. I've had so much rejection in the past year, I've gotten used to it, lol. But this is the first of my last two auditions at Tech. All the directors have seen what I've got to offer them. I've done as much as I can in the classroom and outside at other theatres to prove that I am a viable actor. Don't gt me wrong, I'm confident in my abilities, but I know so much goes into casting that I could give the best audition of my life and it doesn't mean shit. Doesn't mean I won't try, just means I won't die if I don't get anything.

Thirdly, I think, I'm excited. Very. I love auditions, as much as I hate them of course. I love the ignorance you get whenever you audition. Blissful ignorance. You think you can make it, that you can be any part, and that you'll get cast in everything! Not to that crazy extent, but you are on top of the world until that cast list comes out. I love that feeling. And no matter how hard you try, you can't force it to go away. You try to go in with low expectations because it means you fall less when you don't get it. I've tried, many a time, but I can't help it. Even when I know I won't get it, I still have hope. Damn the optimist in me.

So, the season of auditions has approached us! I've got one last shot before I move away. I'm going to try and make the most of it. And if I don't get cast in anything, I'll write my own one-woman show and perform it in the free speech area. Suck on that!