We are actors...we're the opposite of people!

Day 26

Random moment of the day. I was in my theatre history class and we were just talking about 19th century theatre. We just started talking and he mentioned a playwright/actress named Ann Womatt I believe (I'm too lazy to look up the name from my notes). And our professor stopped and couldn't decide if he should call her an actor or an actress, and then proceeded to ask my opinion; if I preferred to be called an actor or an actress. My gut response was actor, and I told him that. Then this afternoon I got to thinking more about it and why I think that way.

I guess I see it in the same way as a doctor or a teacher or even a lawyer! You don't call a female doctor a doctress or a lawyera. It almost seems a little bit demeaning to have a term for a male actor and female actor, like they are unequal or something. Like, we have Brad Pitt, who is an actor and we have Anne Hathaway who has this different term as an actress. It's like these two different caliber of classes for the same profession. I see myself as an actor because I do the same things that male actors do. I perform a role, I research a character, I say my lines onstage, and I try to dive into the depths of my soul for a part. Why do I have to be labeled something different? Then again, it could be seen just as gender. Male and female. There are specific qualifications that make you a male that females don't have; but does that same notion apply to theatre?

I say no. We do the same things. There aren't any qualifications that are different to dub you one or the other besides gender. And while more times than naught male actors play male characters and vis versa, there are instances where the roles can be switched. I'm not sure where the term actually came into being, it may have been in the distance past when female actors couldn't do the things that male actors could in plays. There were specific roles they played that had a set of rules to go with it. Today it's different. There's so much more opportunities for female actors to do whatever they want to onstage. Nothing is really off limits.

So I, Christina Jones, am an actor. The same as you Brad Pitt...or you Anne Hathaway.

I guess I'll just sit back and wait and see what kind of girl is she?

Day 25

I may have found a way to get out of my funk, for a while at least. When New Years was here and I came up with the idea for this blog, I also wanted to get a new haircut and start working out regularly. I did the first 2, but really didn't jump on the band wagon for the other one. My purpose was to not only lose weight and get body parts looking nicer, but just to get in shape again. I feel if I work out and get in shape, I can last through a lot more physical activity onstage. And I do dub myself a physical comedy actor, so I need to be in the best shape to do that.

And I think it will be a great way for me to get out of my funk. The actor's body is their most important tool. I think Stanislavki actually says that. So I can do this for personal reasons, but also as something that helps me as an actor. And it's something that I really haven't done before. I used to play basketball in high school and was in the best shape of my life. I played 40 minute games without getting exhausted. I could run til my life depended on it. And I used that to the extreme when we did physical plays at my high school like "Paganini" in commedia style. And it probably kept me from getting injuries worse than the actors around me. There have been a couple of shows where I just am exhausted and breathing heavily after it's all said and done. "Phallus Pan" was definitely one of those shows. I would have to take a nap after if I wanted to go out after because it was so physically and emotionally draining. I know they say you are supposed to be exhausted if you have given it your all during a show, but I would like to be able to not tire so quickly.

I'm not going to lie, I'm doing this for personal reasons as well. But I think I've burnt myself out a little bit on theatre and theatre-y things. Maybe this is God, or whoever is in charge of the world, trying to give me the time off to just take some personal me time. I'm keeping up with homework and having actual free time on my hands. Like I said before, I don't want to just sit around and watch tv all night...so maybe this is the next best thing. Getting my body in shape and ready to make it through a performance without the drop of a hat!

I'm just tired. Not sick, just...tired

Day 24

I feel a funk coming on. Not a sickness or anything...well, maybe it is. I feel so empty without a show going on. RROAPS isn't coming up until the end of February, so I have a full month without anything really going on. I know there are a lot of times that I complain sometimes about being busy and tire and having no time...BUT I LOVE THAT! I would rather by busy than have nothing to do. I feel like I'm wasting time doing nothing that can help me become a better actor. I'm just sitting at home...watching tv...ugg

Which, if I were a better actor, I would be reading plays or theatre-y books or something! But today I'm in a funk. And you know, maybe that's actually ok. I can't be doing things involved with theatre all the time. I think about it constantly, but I don't have to do anything about it. I guess it's what I talked about before, about doing other things that aren't theatre so you don't get burned out. I'm not burned out, because it's not like I'm doing anything, but I guess I just need a little break now and then.

So if that means I spend a day laying around watching Pushing Daisies...then that's just what I'll do!

Everything's coming up roses for me and for you!

Day 23

I just finished watching a cabaret performance by a theatre alumni who is making a living in Chicago. It was a really fantastic show. He was hilarious, and I loved being able to sit there and enjoy all these theatre songs he sang. I was proud of myself because I knew about 80% of the songs he sang! That's pretty damn good! lol

But I went through so many emotions since he's been here. He gave a master class Friday afternoon about the things he wish he knew after he graduated. he started talking about finances and jobs and equity and auditions and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It was so much information that I didn't even consider really. I felt so overwhelmed after the class, and started questioning why the hell I am trying to do this. FYI, I go through this back and forth battle pretty much every moment of every day. I love theatre so much, but the logistics of making a living solely on it is out there.

But I digress...

Then I saw his performance tonight and thought to myself...Hey! He was in the same place I'm in right now, and he made it! He's doing what he loves to do! Why can't I be that person too? I don't want fame and fortune (but it would be nice), I just want to act. And my goal is to be able to act professionally without having another job. I'm not happy making drinks at Starbucks or sitting at a desk for 9 hours...but I will do that if it means I can act at night! Those are only stepping stones to what I really want to do. I have no idea how I'm going to get there, or if I even can get there, but I'm going to try my damnedest to do it. It might be in Dallas, or Austin, or Chicago, or New York City! I'm going to aim big because I only get one life, and I don't want to ask myself "What if?"

No what if's...just can do's

“A work of art is above all an adventure of the mind” -Eugene Ionesco

Day 22

For my Principles of Acting II class we were supposed to find a picture or painting of a "character" as said by our professor. He didn't really go into what that entailed, so it was left up to us. I started looking at portraits of people online. I found a couple of normal ones; your typical happy baby or the engaged couple in the park. There really wasn't anything that stood out. Then I found it. I found this picture:



How beautifully tragic is that picture? When I first saw it, it literally broke my heart. A fellow actor saw it and saw confusion more than anything. But to me, I see this sadness that transcends what any words can portray. There are so many little details in this picture that can tell everything about this man. Every wrinkle on his face is so defined, like they aren't just ordinary wrinkles...they are so prominent because of all the struggles he has gone through. His mouth isn't in a frown or smile or anything recognizable. It's more of a given up look. His tie is also askew and messy like he didn't even try. And most importantly his eyes. His eyes give him away completely. There is so much sadness and heartache in his gaze. That's what breaks my heart.

I'm not sure what we are doing with these photos. I really like the picture that I chose, so hopefully I'll be able to do something with mine.

So I crammed my life in a u-haul to find my part of it all

Day 21

The weekend of performances continues! I got to see a community theatre production of "Bus Stop". I was looking forward to it because it's one of those shows I've heard about a lot but never got the chance to see a performance of it. The script itself is interesting. There seems to be this niche of shows set in public places like bars, or diners, or buses that just show people and their interactions with each other within this environment. It's a make or break situation because if the characters aren't interesting or likable then there really is no reason to like them or even watch. I think "Bus Stop" achieved that pretty well. The end was weak. I think writing a good end for a play is the hardest part because a lot of times it just ends. It's hard to finish something.

The set they had for the space was fantastic. I did "Children of a Lesser God" in that space and we had a very minimal set. The stage is fairly small, so I was interested to see how they could build a diner on the stage. It looked great and they had so many little touches that most people probably wouldn't have noticed, but us theatre people did. They had an actual working clock that they used to set the time during the play. They kept up with the time span that occurred during the play as well. It was really neat and just a little touch that was greatly appreciated.

And the second before I jumped I knew wehre I needed to be!

Day 20

So the music department had a performance of "Songs for a New World" that a group of us went to see. I was super excited to see it because I saw a production of it at Nationals for the International Thespian Society the summer of my senior year. That production was interesting. They performed it in a huuuuuuuuge auditorium, which was probably the first mistake. This is probably one of the few low scale musicals that should be performed in a smaller venue, like the lab theatre. The original cast is only 4 people, and they had different people for each song. The set was like a ship, and it was neat, but the performers were awful. They really couldn't sing well as a general group. And our group was so over it by intermission, so we decided to leave.

That was then, and this production was very different. I enjoyed getting to see the entire show, and the venue they chose for it was a perfect size. There was one performer in particular who killed it. He did a great job and almost had me crying during one of his songs because it was so beautiful and passionate. I get so jealous when I see a performer like that, because it makes me wish I had a better singing voice. I'm confident in my acting skills, and I think I could do great in musicals, but my voice just isn't up to par. I can get away with character songs, but that's about it. I really would love to try to take voice lessons again, even if I'm never involved in another musical for the rest of my life. It's an ability that I need to improve on.